Greetings!
Pope Francis recently wrote in his Apostolic Exhortation, Evangelii gaudium, that the parish is “the Church living in the midst of the homes of her sons and daughters.” Another way of saying this is that the parish is the family of God present in our own domestic setting. Consequently, those elements that make for a successful home life/domestic setting are similar to the elements necessary for a thriving parish. Probably the most important element for a successful home life is the presence of charity. Charity is not an abstract concept for the Christian. Charity takes form in the thoughts, words and actions that we use when relating to our family members. I would like to reflect for a moment on how words can compromise the charity necessary for a thriving family or parish life. The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks about a number of sins concerning the way we use our words towards one another. The Catechism places sins with words against one another as violations of the 10th Commandment. Some of these sins include the following:
- Rash judgment: without sufficient knowledge assuming something as true concerning the moral fault of a neighbor.
- Detraction: without a valid reason sharing another’s faults and failings to a person who did not know them.
- Calumny: harming the reputation of another by speaking remarks that are false about the person. Pope Benedict XVI once said that because of our fallen human nature we gravitate towards pointing out the negative in our neighbor.
My observation as a priest is that most of these violations with words occur against those closest to us, i.e., in our domestic family and parish family. Avoiding rash judgment, detraction and calumny is not easy as Pope Benedict alluded to in the above statement. This means that we must be intentional and not passive about refraining from undermining charity through harmful words toward or about another in our home and in our parish families. Pope Francis recently challenged the members of his staff , i.e., the Roman Curia, to avoid gossip. He said, “be conscientious objectors to gossip, in particular, in the office. For gossip is harmful to people, harmful to our work and our surroundings.” I would like to conclude with a few words from St. Paul, “Say only the good things men need to hear; things that will really help them” (Ephesians 4:29). When we feel the temptation to rash judgment, detraction and calumny, let us stop and first say a prayer for the person.
Ad majorem Dei gloriam,
Fr. John F. Jirak